James Huckaby…

In what may be a total surprise to everyone reading given past Opinions and my apparent total lack attention to too many serious things at all, I’m going to tell you what I think about September 11th, President Bush, politicians, the media, and Anthrax. I haven’t commented yet because I felt that writing about my catatonia as I watched hours and hours of CNN on that day would be a grand arrogance on my part.

Now I think I’m sufficiently informed to state what I think if not believe about the fallout of the attacks. I reserve the right to change my mind on some of these matters. Earlier in the year when my Dad and I were watching the news and how the Bush II administration was handling foreign policy with regards to China and the Middle East, I commented that he was trying to start a war. Around that time the Bush Administration dismissed the findings of a three year commission that was created after the embassy bombings. These findings had recommendations for increased security measures against terrorism that were shelved in favor Bush’s to be appointed commission simply because the commission was started when Clinton was in the White House. I read the article about it on Reuters a day or two after the attacks. Not to say it would have stopped anything, or that the war hadn’t already been declared and ignored. Three years ago when my friend Matt went as Osama bin Laden for Halloween no one knew who he was supposed to be.

The rapid shattering of the Palestinian peace accords can be handed to the conversative’s Isreali allies under Ariel Sharon making land-grabs or as they like to call them “settlements” at the end of last year because they knew they’d have a pal in the election-thief. The scary thing is that some fundamentalist Christians believe that because of boundary descriptions in the Bible that the Isreal-Palestine conflict is OK because of God’s promises to the ancient Isrealites. I wonder if they are willing to give up the land God gave the Native Americans or the Irish or a multitude of other invasions. Oh wait, that wasn’t written in the right book if written at all. Sorry. Here’s my belief: Someone wrote down where their land was and said we can defend it better if we say God said it. Now I’m going to hell, but I’ve said what I believe. You wanna know what else I believe? I believe that Christian fundamentalism over prophecy leads to determinism and an unstated belief that the prophecied Armageddon in the Middle East will bring Jesus back sooner. And more glorious than Heaven to some modern Christians is the chance that they’ll see Jesus come back and all those rubes in the intervening millenia will have missed it. And they’re gonna help do that no matter what. And the military industrial complex will gladly take our money to do it, too.

Now G.W. has created a new agency. He has named it the “Department of Homeland Defense” or some such and no I’m not going to go look up if it’s the “Agency” or “Bureau” instead, that part doesn’t matter. It’s the “Homeland” part of the name. How did this get by his handlers or are they all that arrogant as well? The word evokes the “Evil Imperialism” that the haters of America ascribe to more than anything. Empires have “Homelands”. Germany declared it’s love for the “Homeland” under Hitler. We are a melting pot. We are the gathering of people. The propaganda we spew is that we only export democracy, capitalism, and love. Why didn’t they just name it the “Interior Defense” or some such? Why is the Bush Administration so dumb, dumb, dumb? We even renamed the Department of War the Department of Defense at some point. While the popular loud-mouth conversatives like to nay-say the value of political correctness, why don’t they pay attention to the “Walk Softly” part of Teddy Roosevelt’s famous saying? I won’t even start on G.W. malapropisms and unfortunate gaffes because that’s what we inherited when the Supreme Court and Jeb Bush hijacked November’s election. (Just think: former presidents used to worry about what inappropriate things their brothers and children might say, now the president’s brother and father get to worry about what G.W. might say.)

Even as we bomb the shit out of Afghanistan to avenge our deaths, cut of the roots of the Al Qaeda, and repair our wounded national ego as well, I realize that Cheney and Bush and his cronies have already thought of ways to help this fund their new pet projects. All those Tomahawk cruise missiles will need to be replaced and newer better weapons will get to be built and that’s great. I’ve got friends who work for Defense contractors, I used to work for one myself, the money’s good. And don’t you worry: Bush has sworn that this war will go on as long as it takes. Luckily, there is a five year sunset on the wire-tapping extraganza that is our new Anti-Terrorism law and its targetting all the evil high tech revolution that our aging Senators don’t have a clue how to operate. Thank god that somehow the younger Republican House is more moderate and informed than the Democratic Senate or there wouldn’t be any sunset on the laws at all. Don’t you worry about Uncle Sam listening to your phone calls, they’re just trying to stop the evil-doers.

And don’t worry about Anthrax in your mail either. All you need to do is iron it. That’s right. Iron it. Preferably with a lot of steam. Do you know what the horrible thing about the Anthrax mailing is? It’s probably originating from some American as far as anyone can tell so far. What’s almost as bad is number of white powder mail scares being perpetuated by idiots. Idiots who can get up to 15 years like the kid in Florida who wanted out of class early or life if it’s a big enough hoax under federal law.

What might be just as bad is the USA Today style infographic I found on a Reuters new stories outlining the steps to make a good batch of Anthrax. Or the other infographics showing schematics of our warships and warplanes. What’s not that bad but definitely sensationalistic is the media blaming Hollywood for showing everyone how to attack us. Scientists, thinktanks, and the government are constantly releasing Doomsday and attack scenarios. How are we not supposed to incorporate that angst into our culture? How else are we to be able to steel ourselves against these kind of attacks? As another side point, the media has dubbed this conflict in Afghanistan “America Strikes Back”. It’s sort of like “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back”. I’ve got two problems: 1) There’s the empire word again. 2) The Empire lost.

I’m poorly informed about the whole Airlines layoff whitewash so I’ll lay off that today, but as an American I think we need to elect politicians that can get back to what keeps us out of wars and on the world’s good list: Walking Softly.

P.S. I realized after I wrote this that today is exactly four years after I posted the first Opinion by James. I stated there that I would write about serious stuff someday. I suppose today’s the day. Happy Opiniversary.